Category Archives: Creation

Apr 20 2017
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Creation, Erotica, Life Lessons, Love, Poetry, Relationships, Thoughts

ENCORE (PART 3)

 

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Seth Doyle

 

This is the part of the story that is played after the record has long since finished and is still spinning on the player.

Encore

The sultry sounds of your secret melodies surprise my consciousness.

The love patterns of my thoughts pursue a passion in partnership with you.

The lack of our romantic bliss has cluttered the spaces of my thinking.

My heated desires perspire through my pores.

I drink my thoughts to quench my thirst for you.

My appetite for romance is my habitual hunger that one plus one equals two you.

My mind’s symposium pulsates to the rhythm of your heartbeat.

It feels good to stay stuck playing head-banging tunes of you nonstop and in stereo.

 

At one time or another, we will make a love song together.

Today, I play you on repeat.

Please read my other written work.

I adore you for reading my writing,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

Apr 11 2017
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Creation, Humor, Poetry

THE PENIS PARALLEL (PART 2)

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The pen is

Found

Grabbed

Felt

Contemplated

Nibbled

Erected

Ball-Pointed

Used

Moved

Curved

Moved

Curved

Moved

Curved

Exploded

Finished

Renewed

Stowed

…waiting to be used again.

Please read my other written work.

I adore you for reading my writing,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

Jan 20 2017
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Creation, Goals, Habits, Life Lessons, New Year, Thoughts

Want to Step up Your 2017 Forecast? You Need To Read This First: Establish Goals. Not New Year’s Resolutions.

2017_20january2017

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every New-Year find you a better man. — Benjamin Franklin

Cheers to another 8,760 revolution hours around the sun. It’s 2017, and I have decided to shake, not stir my intoxicating ambitions to quench my thirst for a changed life. In years past, my New Years’ resolutions were propped up, puffed up proclamations, which were pushed out of the way, as soon as I botched an attempt to exchange a bad habit for a good one.

2016

Over a period of a decade, I have had many starts and stops with creating content for my website. Along the way, like most New Year’s resolutions, the sun illuminated brightly along my path, and suddenly I was drowning in the rain puddles of shallow promises. At which point, all my creative endeavors, drown in the sea of “to-dos” not done. As I do the work, I’ve learned to stop romanticizing the creative process of writing as spontaneous spurts of genius and now I revere the consistent practice of the craft. My self-governing principle is to be consistent. Consistency is the celebrity of life. In the fourth quarter of 2016, I applied a few brush strokes to the canvas of courageous and creative living to create, consumable communal content. I held an experiment to publish weekly stories. By year’s end, I published ten stories, three short for my written, shared quarterly goal.

A Revolution. Not a Resolution.

Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed. – Cavett Robert

In a 2014 study, conducted by Australia’s biggest comparison websites finder.com.au, the most common reason for individuals failing their New Years’ Resolutions was; 33% didn’t keep track of their progress, and about one in ten respondents claimed they made too many resolutions.

It is no surprise, I’ve defaulted on my promissory note to change. Now, I am making incremental deposits into a new instrument to yield greater returns in my life. The instrument is consistency. Consistency is the catalyst for my performance in the goal marketplace. Like all market indices, I fluctuate in my goal performance. Over time, however, my consistency pays dividends. To keep track of my goal investments, I plot my progress on a large wall calendar. My approach is to commit to three goals per quarter to limit my exposure to diversification risk. Learn more about my quarterly goal setting technique here.

Vision

As I sip and savor over my glittery goals that I have drenched in my heart, my experiences have revealed to me; life is variable. Therefore, my continued focus and rigor with staying the course of my goals in 2017 and beyond is the pulse to my long-term commitment and sustained action in the creation process. My method is to iterate and therefore get better with time. The genesis for my writing rigor came with the commitment to write a book. One thing I know about writing, it’s a muscle, and I must exercise it multiple times throughout the week to see the form I desire. I’ve given vision to what shape that will take by year’s end. At the velocity of publishing a weekly story, I will have written a 300-page book.

Motivation, Mission & Values

Simply, I write to serve and share with others. My aim is to relate to the world differently, through deeper wells of connection assembled in my written words and my spoken voice.

My personal mission is to curate specialty products, create handwritten and spoken words, that spread smiles, stimulate souls and connects us to our sameness.

My values are the hieroglyphics for my humanity. It is how I remain committed to the achievement of my mission. My personal values are love, wellness, kindness, and relationships. My values are at the center of my soul while achieving my mission. It is the unifying force that defines who I am, what I strive to be, and how I serve others.

Daily Work

The core themes that make up my daily work allow me to exercise my values and fulfill my mission. Essentially, my daily work are the pieces and patterns that shape me.

dailywork_20january2017

How do I do it?

“As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

My core themes are the organizing principles which instrument my life’s greatest hits. It’s how I self-standardize for skillful living.

My calendaring method keeps me focused on the micro activities that mold the macro landscape of my life. Most vectors of my life are illustrated on my calendar unless the pattern/practice is embedded deep within. If it is not calendared, it doesn’t get considered, unless you are my Grandmother, then all matters are trumped for Queen Bee. Read about my Grandmother here. I iterate often, recalibrating the ineffective activities and patterns. I recheck my calendar to remind me of my commitments. Without my calendaring technique, my neck would have an out-of-order sign hanging on it perpetually.

2017 Goals

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

It is said, you are 20% more likely to achieve your new year’s resolutions if you make them public.

Here are my overarching goals for 2017.

  1. Eradicate all consumer debt.
  2. Pay my business taxes on schedule.
  3. Publish 52 stories.
  4. Publish 26 podcasts.
  5. Read 36 books.
  6. Relaunch https://rochelleaross.com/
  7. Quit sugar three days a week.
  8. Introduce one specialty product.
  9. Go on one date.
  10. FEAR LESS. LOVE MORE.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”
―Neil Gaiman

Ten Tips for a Better New Year

I invest consistently in being better. This is what I’ve learned about the goal setting process:

  1. Abandon new year’s resolutions, create goals instead
  2. Write your macro goals down for the year
  3. Break down your macro goals into a few micro goals, per quarter
  4. Share your goals with others
  5. Establish a method to achieving your goals
  6. Commit to consistency in your goal methodology
  7. Tweak the method, if your approach is preventing you from reaching your goals
  8. Be patience with yourself, if you missed reaching your goals
  9. Carry unfinished or missed goals to the next quarter
  10. Reach goals and Rejoice!

Join me in creating a changed life. Share your 2017 goals. Many thanks.

Please read my other written work.

please-support-my-work-by-clicking-on-the-heart_21november2016

I adore you for reading my blog.

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

 

Jan 13 2017
1 Comment
Comedy, Creation, Goals, Humor, Life Lessons, Love, New Year, Poetry, Thoughts

My heart’s ode to the universe of love

frog_14january2017

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Why is my prince charming coming at the speed of a crawl?

Is it due to his high cholesterol?

As I work through my muck,

I believe my fairy godmother will send me a hunk

Thank you, in advance,

For the chance to dance with romance.

Faithfully yours, Rochelle

Please read my other written work.

Until the next time – I adore you for reading my blog,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

Jan 04 2017
1 Comment
Creation, Goals, Habits, Inspiration, Life Lessons, New Year, Productivity, Thoughts, Wellness

My 6 Areas of Reflection from 2016 (with My Humorous Wisecracks), My Oath for 2017, and My Goal Setting Technique

“If I speak of myself in different ways, that is because I look at myself in different ways.”
Michel de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

My 2016 experience was a mixture of good and bad habits plus good and bad events. Here’s the summation in my quirky quips.

  1. Bad habit: “My money is funny.”
  2. Good habit: “As a matter of fact, my meal game is ‘tight’”
  3. Good habit & Bad experience: “A body in motion, stays in motion – unless that body has been in an accident.”
  4. Bad habit: “My messy mind.”
  5. Bad habit: “I need to move from stalemate (no one wins) to checkmate (I got the king)”
  6. Good experience: “My mission is to lay bricks and to build bridges for a changed life, for you and me.”

“Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous.”
Confucius

A Look Back to The Start of 2016

I kicked-off 2016, using the technique below with my accountability allies (aka the “Goal Digging Gals”) to strive for victory in achieving my goals. The overarching aim of our technique — is to size the goals into small tangible chunks for success in a three-month period.

The “Goal Digging Gals” Technique

  1. Write down three goals to accomplish in the quarter
  2. Share goals with accountability allies
  3. Review goals, repeatedly
  4. Report out periodic updates
  5. Receive feedback
  6. Revise as necessary
  7. Repeat = Missed goals + New goals

2016 Midyear Assessment

During my 2016 midyear assessment, I was frustrated with the characteristics of my goals, yielding small personal results. My successes were resulting from my goals being anchored in the safe place of certainty. My low-grade achievement was in effect, maintaining a sustainable life. My goals were primarily a maintenance plan for my ego. Thus, I was sabotaging my soul and maintaining an ecosystem for sustainable living.

My 2016 goals started off narrow in scope (sustainable goals), and consequently, my goals did not encourage the expanded vision that my soul was conjuring up. I decided it was time to “level up” (stretch) my quarterly goals to enrich my life in meaningful ways.

The lesson. My goals should consist of:

  • Sustainable Goals support the state of “what is”
  • On the Edge Goals support a hybrid state of “what is” and “what is possible”
  • Stretch goals support the state of “what is possible”

goalmix_3january2017

Ecosystem, Sustainable, Mummies Are Uncommon Words Used for Goal Setting

Let’s talk about the words sustainable for a moment. The definition of sustainable is to support “what is.” Previously, I mentioned my goals were “maintaining an ecosystem for sustainable living,” which refers to the perseveration of my existing state. How can this be bad — you ask? I’ll answer that question with an analogy. When a dead body is mummified; the body is preserved in its current state, to keep it intact and to prevent further deterioration from occurring. However, in this state, life expansion ceases to happen. Similarly, sustainable goals will keep the “what is” intact and not facilitate life expansion. Sustainable goals, doesn’t change a life — it maintains your current life state. Now let’s add a layer to this thinking. The process of achieving goals should be sustainable. That is, the technique used to reach our goals should be viable and be easily continued. (Refer to the ‘Goal Digging Gals’ technique cited earlier in this story)

My 6 Areas of Reflection from 2016

My 2016 reflection story explores my habits and experiences in six areas: Money, Meals, Motion, Mind, Mate, and Mission.

Money

“Do not be obsessed with expensive things. Instead, be obsessed with excellence.
Things don’t make you excellent. However, excellence will make you expensive.”
Janna Cachola

At the start of 2016, I met with my financial planner to get a handle on my finances. Keep in mind; this was a carryover 2015 goal (quarter-over-quarter). After meeting with him, I reluctantly changed my approach and thinking to improve my financial health. Instead of maximizing my savings, the goal was to annihilate, yes destroy my consumer debt. I had some sustainable successes in 2015 and 2016 with paying down my consumer debt lines. However, I always fell short with the annihilation of my entire consumer debt portfolio.

“Hell is full of good meanings, but Heaven is full of good works.”

Ok, I am not blameless. I cheated on my finances. I snuck around spending on my debit cards to avoid purchasing on my credit cards. Smart, right? (rhetorical) The effect. I had little to no money left over to be aggressive with paying down my outstanding consumer credit balances. Now, I want a divorce from my consumer debt (it’s been many years in the making). And because of my bad money habits, I finished 2016, not like a budget pro, but as a defeated debtor, a busted borrower, a credit chump (let me have my moment of self-pity). What does this mean for 2017? I am carrying, an unsuitable bag of debt into 2017. I must stop playing budget bingo with my dollar bills and resist this down payment democracy fueled by credit’s capitalism. The Struggle. Some lessons take longer to learn.

Meals

Consuming green leafy matter in abundance is a priority for me. Especially, as I am approaching, a half of century walking the grounds of mother earth. I have been green juicing since 2006, and in the year of 2016, I leveled up my commitment to juicing to 5 days a week — Monday through Friday.

Let me take you through my progression. I began 2016, juicing two days a week, mid-year I increased it to 3.5 days per week and during the summer, I upped my weekly ante to 5 green juice days. I’ve also modified what I eat during that period, which pairs nicely for my clean eating lifestyle (for most of the time — continue reading).

I’ve implemented a standardized meal system which consists of, mainly: raw broccoli, cauliflower, tortilla chips, a dip of my choice and seasonal fruits. Not to be left out, eggs, when I can get to the Union Square Farmer’s Market on Saturday mornings. The effect. My five day a week clean eating habit has got me on a healthy high. Because ‘on a regular,’ I ingest (& eliminate) some ‘real-good’ green shrubbery. (Gulp. Gulp. Pass. Most people, respectfully pass on my green juice generosity. I don’t take it too personally.) In other related news, my Kangaroo pouch is shrinking because of my healthy meal habits. What does this mean for 2017? My formed and fortified routines are building a body of work; I continue to be proud of. The Struggle: Remember, you read, I eat clean five days a week. What about Saturdays & Sundays? The remaining two days, I reward myself, by eating, whatever the hell I like. Which means, in most cases, I squander my health currency on my sugar cravings. No Bueno.

Motion

“Commitment is a promise to a cause. Being non-committal is a promise to catastrophe.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

Since 2012, I’ve worked out on a consistent basis. In 2014, I tumbled into a new routine and integrated strength training into my movement mix. Before that, I was a Cardio Chica. Engaging in long cardio routines. After experiencing the benefits of High-intensity interval training (HIIT), my philosophy has moved to quality over quantity, and lengthy cardio routines are for Henrietta, the hamster.

In unfortunate news, my four days a week fitness routine was stopped due to a car accident I was in, July 2016. Up until the car accident — I did not fully understand how monumental exercise and movement were to my overall existence. Initially, I thought of exercise on a monochromatic spectrum; benefitting only my body. Following the crash, I now think of exercise on a mosaic spectrum; benefitting not only my body but my mind, too. The effect. I was in a funk because I couldn’t move the way I was accustomed to and I was experiencing intermittent pain. And morsels of my mind were slowly chipping away, because of my motionlessness state. What does this mean for 2017? My treatment plan concluded right before Thanksgiving 2016 and I am back to my ‘badassery’ behavior in the gym. My body and mind are better because of my pivot back to my formed and fortified fitness routine. The Struggle: I am weak. However, I continue to push through my physical and mental states of discomfort to complete my entire fitness routines.

Mind

“Don’t worry. You’ll find your message in your mess.”
Richie Norton

Mastering my thoughts has been a series of sporadic starts and stops to create stillness in my inner and outer ecosystems. In other words, it’s been a struggle. I constantly retreat in the unsafe space of mind during times of confusion, challenges, conflicts, and chaos. Warning label. My mind is unsafe because I lack control over it. The parroted fables and fairy tales I tell myself are just not true. These repetitive tales my mind peddles, I labor to resist. My mind yearns for constant stimulation — fact, or fiction. The effect. These fear-based mind patterns I harbor are buried deep within. Resulting in, a mind maze of messiness. My previous, avoidance tactics and “do-nothing attitude” are not the behaviors that support a changed life. What does this mean for 2017? I am dealing with my head issues, head on (pun intended). I need to crack the code to my cranium patterns. The thoughts that no longer serve me or others must be flushed out (like sh*t in a toilet bowl). I will no longer carry this weight. To that end, I have a yearly subscription to Headspace, to form and fortify the routine of daily meditation and train my mind for better life outcomes. Getting my mind right is the goal. I must create new circuitry currents in my cranium. The Struggle. I must stop the behavior of brushing dirt under the rug. All this does is hide the mucky brain buildup. I need to deal and feel my way to freeing my mind from fear. Yup, agency over my mind is a challenge.

Mate

Ever since I can remember, my dreams have been filled with desires of experiencing life with a mate. The Effect. My mate mishaps are surely connected to my messy mind. What does this mean for 2017? I am tidying up my mind to let go of fear-based fables to free up space for faith-based thinking and living. Hence, my prince charming is on a chariot coming my way. My heart’s ode to the universe of love.

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Why is my prince charming coming at the speed of a crawl?

Is it due to his high cholesterol?

As I work through my muck,

I believe my fairy godmother will send me a hunk

Thank you, in advance,

For the chance to dance with romance.

Faithfully yours, Rochelle

The Struggle: Letting go of years of stinking thinking ain’t easy.

Mission

This is the part of the story, where I leveled up my goals. The summer of 2016, I embarked on a journey in pursuit of my mission to create content comprising of my experiences, my self-discovery, and my behavioral experiments to share with the world, in hopes that you and I may be inspired informed and entertained. The decision to be a consistent creator of content has cleared the way for my changed life.

“Your greatest self has been waiting your whole life; don’t make it wait any longer.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

What does this look like in 2017?

I am co-creating with one of my allies (Lisa Deveaux) from the famous ‘Goal Digging Gals’ group (you’ve heard of us by now). We will chronicle our stories to be shared in the following formats:

  • A podcast program
  • A book

The Lesson: Sustainable goals, doesn’t change a life – it maintains a life. The Struggle: What I know to be true, every grand idea and grand intention are not without the perils of disappoint, setbacks and failures. The key. (I am preaching to myself)

Master the art of consistency.

In other words, during confusion, challenges, conflicts and chaos, the production process of creation should continue and not cease. (Self-responds) This is easier said than done.

My Oath

My commitment is to give, my all, and my best efforts to the integrated segments of my life as I have shared in this story, my story. So, that, when the bell strikes 2018, I would not have misused the gift of 365 days of my life in 2017 by staying the same, I would have created a changed life.

Join me in creating a changed life. Share with me, how you plan to change in 2017.

Please read my other written work.

Until the next time – I adore you for reading my blog,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

Dec 31 2016
2 Comments
Book Review, Comedy, Creation, Rochelle's Reviews

The Ultimate Review of “The Rosie Project”, and Why Bill Gates and I are Soul Brother and Sister

therosieproject_30december2016

Bill Gates and I are Soul Brother and Sister, because…

  1. We both use Microsoft products.
  2. We both read and recommend The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion. Brother Bill, was introduced to the book through his wife’s suggestion. I picked up the title based on the glowing reviews on Amazon.

The Rosie Project Book Review

This book is a five-star, fast-moving humorous love story about a Professor Nerd (boy) meets (girl) Badass Ph.D. Psychology Student by way of a failed attempt to use a scientific algorithmic survey to find a wife.

The Characters

Main Character (Protagonist) – Don Tillman

The Rosie Project is written in the voice of Don Tillman (I dub him “The Professor” in my book review). The Professor is a 39-year-old, single, professor of Genetics at a university in Australia. Characteristically speaking, The Professor is a socially inept, “genetics geek,” and a virgin with Asperger’s. He is an alien too. You read right, The Professor is an alien, well not really. Well, yes really — it is legit. The US government grants visas to aliens “who possesses extraordinary ability in the sciences” among other disciplines. Because of his quirkiness, he is a funny, too.

Underneath his geeky armor, The Professor’s silhouette is sculpted with defined pecks and whatnot, because he practices a modern Japanese martial art form called Aikido. Villain beware, because he will dish out a “whoop-ass” if need be.

His world context of women are stuck in the dark ages; this is revealed by his dated use of language. He made the mistake of referring to Rosie as a barmaid instead of a bartender. C’mon son – get with the times. That language is dead like Latin. To compound his dated lexicon, he also has a wandering eye for women with “sizeable boobs.” His out of touch observations do not deviate from who he is: like the time he described his date as a “blonde with big tits, in fact, her breasts were probably no more than one and a half standard deviations from the mean size for her body weight and hardly a remarkable identifying feature.”

His clothing choices are similar to that of Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg. They all belong to the standardized, repeatable wardrobe club to conserve brain function by not making foolish fashion decisions.

The Professor relishes in “being seen as someone not tied to the norms of society.”

Main Character – Rosie Jarman

Smoker Rosie Jarman is a smart, sassy and spicy “almost thirty” Ph.D. Candidate of Psychology at the same university Professor Don Tillman teaches genetics. She has daddy issues and works part-time as a bartender at the Marquess of Queensberry. To substantiate Rosie’s smarts; she scored a near perfect mark (a seventy-four to be exact) on the GAMSAT for medical school. She is “basically vegetarian; seafood is okay if it’s sustainable.” In other words, let’s not complicate this, Rosie is a sustainable eating pescatarian.

Rosie’s mother died when she was 10 in the same car accident; her physical trainer stepfather Phil Jarmon saved her from. To add to the unfortunate drama “Rosie’s mother was a bit wild in her younger days and engaged in unprotected sex outside her primary relationship.” Rosie’s mother, a doctor, shared blue eyes with her husband Phil and Rosie’s eyes are brown “that was when my mother realized that Phil wasn’t my father and decided to tell him.” Consequently, Phil tells Rosie without the icing on the cake; he is not her real dad. Because of this admission, Rosie embarks on who’s your daddy DNA adventures with The Professor.

Secondary Character – Gene Barrow

Professor Gene Barrow is “fifty-six years old with a wife and two kids.” He is a geneticist professor, however now he is the head of the Psychology Department at the same university The Professor teaches genetics.

What’s in a name – you ask? That question remains unanswered, but I can tell you this; Gene is a “sexist pig” and wanna be Casanova married to Claudia. “Gene has a project to have sex with as many women of as many different nationalities as possible.” Because of this “project” Gene has stepped outside of his marriage. He documents each extramarital sexual entanglement with a pin on a map in his office.

therosieproject_mapwithpins_30december2016

Secondary Character – Claudia Barrow

Claudia Barrow is the patient wife of Gene and is a clinical psychologist. She is the mother of Gene’s two children. Claudia is a good friend to The Professor offering sage advice to him, often. Her relationship philosophy offers visibility into her character: “If you really love someone, you have to be prepared to accept them as they are. Maybe you hope that one day they get a wake-up call and make the changes for their own reasons”.

Secondary Character – Phil Jarman

Phil Jarmon is Rosie’s stepfather. He is the owner of Jarman’s Gym. To mirror his testosterone driven profession, he drives a red convertible Porsche. He promised Rosie as a young child he would take her to Disneyland, but he figured she forgot about their conversation.

The Wife Project

The book opens with Professor Don Tillman (“The Professor“) having found the solution to the “social problem of finding a wife.” Even “The Good Book”, draws a favorable conclusion to such endeavor. As evidenced by the Shakespearean dialect of the King James version of the Bible that puts it like this: “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD”. He approaches his dating experiments like a failed Facebook algorithm. In his mind, a scientific questionnaire is an obvious solution to finding a wife.

“The Wife Project” questionnaire is a purpose-built, scientifically valid instrument incorporating current best practice to filter out the time wasters, the disorganized, the ice-cream discriminators, the visual-harassment complainers, the crystal gazers, the horoscope readers, the fashion obsessives , the religious fanatics, the vegans, the sports watchers, the creationists, the smokers, the scientifically illiterate, the homeopaths, leaving, ideally, the perfect partner or, realistically, a manageable short list of candidates”.

The Method

  • Step #1 – The Professor meets women through “traditional” dating sites
  • Step #2 – He determines his sample size, by gathering anecdotal data from that scientific survey thingamajig
  • Step #3 – He conducts dating experiments to test his hypothesis of finding a wife by any means necessary

The Professor’s questionnaire spawned a few first dates with: “Olivia’s BMI at 19: slim but not signs of anorexia. I estimated Sharon the Accountant’s at twenty-three, and Maria the Nurse at 28. The recommended healthy maximum is twenty-five.” Coupled with his keen eye for a women’s size, he also has a penchant for promptness.

The 7 Stages of Love “Rosie Style”

Stage #1 – How They Met

The love story begins something like this: Rosie enters The Professor’s office, “Professor Barrow suggested I see you. Someone told me you can tell if a person’s monogamous by the size of their testicles.” Rosie was mistaken by The Professor as one of the wife candidates that completed the scientific survey of sorts. In presumptive haste, he invites Rosie to dinner. “How about we do dinner tonight?” She responds with a jacket-required restaurant. “How about Le Gavroche and you’re paying?” Since their first date was made for the same night, The Professor had to hack the reservation system to get a seat at the table.

He arrives at the restaurant with a waterproof windbreaker jacket on, instead of the required attire of the fancy establishment. Standing his ground, The Professor gets into a physical clash with the restaurant staff because technically he has on a jacket.

“Don, you would make someone a wonderful husband.”

Stage #2 – Discovery

After The Professor’s “Revenge of the Nerds” fight scene, they meander back to The Professor’s house to eat, one of his standardized meals that are scheduled to be eaten on Tuesdays. According to The Professor’s eating rules “Wine is not scheduled for Tuesdays. “Fuck that,” said Rosie.” Nothing like a badass woman to shake sh^t up. They eat, talk and learn about each other which included a conversation about Rosie’s “father,” not being her biological father. “My real dad is a doctor. I just don’t know which one.” They end the night with the standard first date pleasantries.

Stage #3 – Denial

The Professor’s assessment of Rosie is based on his scientific survey thingamajig. As a matter fact, she doesn’t measure up to the Wife’s Project because she is “A barmaid. Late, vegetarian, disorganized, irrational, unhealthy, smoker—smoker! — psychological problems, can’t cook, mathematically incompetent, unnatural hair color. “To see her again would be in total contradiction to the rationale for the Wife Project.”

“Humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others.”

Stage #4 – False Pretense

Rosie never completed “The Wife Project” questionnaire, however, The Professor’s hypothesis was that she must have been interested.

He makes up some coy plan to help Rosie find her biological father. Even though she is so “patently inappropriate” as a suitable life partner. The audacity of men, trying to justify their intent with coded actions. The Professor continues with his irrational logic “Rosie was not a date. I had rejected her, comprehensively, as a potential partner, and we were together because of a joint project. It was like a meeting.” The Professor commits to the “The Father Project” to have routine face time with Rosie.

Stage #5 – State of Confusion

Despite the confusion in his head, together they begin their adventures of collecting DNA samples to perform testing to uncover Rosie’s biological father. From posing as bartenders, lighting up the dance floor as the DNA dancing duo and traveling across the Atlantic Ocean.

On their way to NYC, The Professor meets Rosie at the airport to get additional DNA samples of two doctors that moved to the states. “She remained uncomfortable about my purchasing her ticket, so I told her she could pay me back by selecting some Wife Project applicants for me to date. “Fuck you,” she said. It seemed we were friends again.” The nerve of The Professor. #SMDH

In anticlimactic fashion, The Professor got busted “using the DNA machine for private purposes” which was a “breach of the Genetics Department regulations.”

Until he met Rosie, his life was a set of repeated routines governed by his “holy schedule.”

“My feelings for her could not be explained by logic.”

Stage #6 – It Must Be Love

The Professor and Rosie feelings go heart-to-heart with each other and no longer meander around the edges of their existence. As in most scenarios of love, there are the intangibles that fall short of one’s shopping list of desirables. “Rosie identified three faults of The Professor: no idea of social behavior, your life’s ruled by a whiteboard, and you’re incapable of feeling love— you’re perfect.” The Professor’s snap-back summation of Rosie: “You failed almost every criterion of the Wife Project. Disorganized, mathematically illiterate, ridiculous food requirements. Incredible. I considered sharing my life with a smoker.” The courting, dating, mating dynamics of irrational humans.

They tip-toe around the pantyhose conversation of love. Rosie asks “Don’t you care about me?” The Professor replies “I care about you enormously.” Quietly, in his mind The Professor “wanted her to fall in love with me.”

“If you really love someone, you have to be prepared to accept them as they are. Maybe you hope that one day they get a wake-up call and make the changes for their own reasons”.

Stage #7 – Happily Ever After

The Professor proposed to Rosie by stating the obvious “you have short earlobes. Socially and genetically there’s no reason for me to be attracted to you. The only logical conclusion is that I must be in love with you.” He seals the proposal with a kiss and Rosie reacts with “You’d better not let me down, I’m expecting constant craziness.”

The story winds down with their move from Australia to Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Please read my other written work.

Until the next time – I adore you for reading my blog,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

Nov 22 2016
2 Comments
Creation, Hair, Humor, Life Lessons, Product Review, Rants, Thoughts

12 Personality Traits That Define The Obsessed Hair Product Junkie

“I love my hair because it’s a reflection of my soul. It’s dense, it’s kinky, it’s soft, it’s textured, it’s difficult, it’s easy and it’s fun. That’s why I love my hair.”
 — Tracee Ellis Ross

hair_22november2016v2

I dwell in communities on and offline saturated with images of glorified crowns from colorful beauties of the global majority. These images seep into the crevices of my cranium and set a flame hair aspirations that can hardly be achieved with a brew of potions promising pretty. The over concentration of hair hustlers pushing beauty in a bottle has left me weak in my knees. It’s hard to “Just Say No”.

In my community, Korean beauty shop owners are the biggest distributors of trafficking transactional pretty to African American women. Heads up! — African American women spend an estimated $7.5 billion annually on beauty products. For which, the Korean beauty dealers monopolize the supply chain in communities of color.

Today, outside my community I pace back and forth in the aisles of one of my favorite mashup Halloween beauty shops to find the grease that will outdo this mundane mop to a magical mane. Looking for the perfect hair care product can be scary — because every label is a masterpiece of trickery. Ignoring this knowledge, I believe the flowery words of every tonic that promises my locks will blossom from weeds to Pocahontas lengths. Because of this masquerade marketing, I buy the placebo Pocahontas tonic and use it for several days to discover my hair hasn’t grown an inch. Instead, I have uncontrollable itchiness for days on end. Circle, circle, dot, dot — now, I need a hair product junkie shot.

Bewitched by smoke and mirrors, I am mourning yet another potion pushing-up-daisies in the hair product graveyard labeled “the bottom of my closet.”

I am now slouched on my sofa watching YouTube videos while simultaneously scrolling the ‘Gram to coax my latest labeled disappointment. I am lured once again by the representations, reviews, and raves about products promising pretty pictured tresses. I closely observe each Beauty reppin’ a side of the beauty shop aisle. I ponder, “Which side of the aisle do I represent”? Probably all, I muse. My hair product junkie habits are messy, irrational and hard to bottle up.

Here are the Hair Product Junkie personality tribal traits I brush-up against on my hair product exploration (scratch that) acquisition journey.

12 Personality Traits of the Obsessed Hair Product Junkie

  • Miss. Black Market — This Beauty only buys B L A C K.
  • Miss. Budget Friendly — This Beauty is price sensitive and buys products that are easy on the pocketbook.
  • Miss. ‘cone Free — This confused Beauty doesn’t mess with products that have ‘cones but will use other products with ingredients that coat the hair strands and don’t easily wash off with water.
  • Miss. On the ground — This Beauty cops products that are locally stacked on convenient store shelves.
  • Miss. Free Loader — This Beauty product acquisition tactic is based on reaching the purchase quota to obtain free shipping.
  • Miss. Ingredient Identified — This Beauty buys products like she orders her meals. It can’t have this, this, and that.
  • Miss. Naturally, Organic — This Beauty demands every product she buys be environmentally friendly and made with easily pronounced ingredients that are between 1 to 3 syllables, each.
  • The Kitchen Chemist — This Beauty buys primary products to master mix hair libations to intoxicate the dullest strands back to liveliness.
  • The Follower Influenced — This Beauty buys products based on her favorite social media personality. It doesn’t matter if they don’t share the same hair type.
  • The On-Sale ‘Couponer’ — This Beauty picks up products only on sale or with a coupon code. She scours the internet for a coupon code and feverishly tries multiple codes before one works to complete her online purchase.
  • Miss. Better Bulk-up — To protect from production delays in the kitchen supply hair care chain, this Beauty buys products in bulk. Because her favorite boutique hair care mixologist is frequently out-of-stock of the top-selling items she enjoys.
  • Miss. Eye Candy — This distracted non-woke ‘Beauty school drop-out’ buys products based on imagery.

After spending six hours on the internet, I identify three products to conduct an investigative discovery to the product’s mysteries. I start by identifying the ingredients of each of the products. This time I will outsmart myself and I will not be bamboozled by the brands. These bombastic claims are weaponized marketing. With this knowledge — Why not create a computer program to differentiate the product ingredients among the three product choices I’m eyeing? Genius. I start writing the program and I am interrupted midway by thoughts of hair product junkie brilliance. “Why not, also associate each ingredient’s benefit and apply a ranking system based on the value attribution of the benefit? The value attribution is to give a higher rank to the natural ingredients and the ‘cone-less ingredients when compared to the other ingredients”. This is when I stopped and came to my senses. I navigate to the website to make my online purchase. My buying decision was based on the imagery, the coupon code I found after a two-hour search on the internet and the free shipping I received after having to buy $500 worth of products.

“Hi, I am Rochelle and I am hair product junkie”.

Read my other written work.

Until the next time – I adore you for reading my blog,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

Nov 15 2016
2 Comments
Creation, Erotica, Life Lessons, Poetry

A Vacant Love Story

digital_love_hires

I need the punctuation of your persona to pierce my soul.
I’m lost in this flattened world.
The Christopher Columbus discovery of inhabitants already existing in this vast space underscores the sensational over the substantial.
The brevity of images defines the senses.

I am burdened by the binary sight and sound of you.
I’m enslaved by the thought of you.
The liability of your absence disrupts our connection.
The sum total of 1 plus 0 are not adding up 2 you.

I need to experience your truth, to inform me what I believe about you.
I’m filling the gaps of the unknown with figures of what is not fortified in my reality.
This confusion conjures beliefs once confirmed by warm and cold sensations.
You are a collection of curiosities.
Your casual hearts strings me along.
Your customs are not customary to me.

I lay my face on the screen to get as close as possible to your words.
Your texture is intoxicating unfamiliar.
I’m bathed in your light.
Your brilliance quickly dims because I haven’t touched you.

I long for your touch, taste, sound, smell & sight.
My eyes hold conversations you have never seen.
But in return I get syllables of silent sentences.
Your words are missing notes and are toneless.
The skeleton spaces between your characters are not fleshed out.
This longing for you is betrayal of my senses.

I sleep with you next to me, but I am restless and unsatisfied.
I need your sacred substance of significance stuffing me with the familiar.
I crave for the vibration of your organism.
I dwell in anticipation.
You respond.
I consume your fleshless character.
We light up the darkness with our back and forth intercourse.

Our characters
collide &
climax
2
completion.

Read my other poems.
A Different Kind of Love
Morning’s Prelude

Join Rochelle’s mailing list to stay up to date with my written musings.

****

Until the next time – I adore you for reading my blog,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

 

Oct 25 2016
3 Comments
Creation, Entrepreneurship, Goals, Inspiration, Poetry, Productivity

Uncommon Calendaring Behavior: I use my online calendar to create new habits and pray

I’m a perpetual calenderer. I pencil everything in. My calendaring is my neon highlighter on what’s important to focus on. See my previous posts for my receipt on my ‘calenderering’ behavior and how I accomplish shit.

I am a creature of habit.
Crates, cages, coops, cuffs cannot contain me.
Though, my calendar can tame me.

My calendar is the intersectionality of my activities, appointments, meetings, events, prayers, goals and habits. I once heard someone say “I can tell you what a person values by examining their checking account, calendar and conversation.”

calendarimage_24october2016

Consider this.

Why be a perpetual calenderer?

  • Planning persistently permits a diary view of life at an atomistic level of detail
  • Compartmentalizing activities facilitates principled action and creates better cycles of completion
  • Provisioning of time controls for the unpredictable in order to stay on assignment to do the work
  • Investing in time when compared to careless consumption of it — yields increased work product returns

Let’s be balanced.

The disadvantages of crazy calendaring behavior

  • Getting stuck in the muddy mode of minutia and not executing on milestone activities
  • Stifling spontaneity

The approach to clocking my time.

Who

I manage my personal and professional calendars in order to have a wholistic view of my daily, weekly, and monthly activities across all vectors of my life.

Why

People, habits and goals are too important to leave to chance. Plus my memory is sporadic and over saturated with creating solutions, strategies, ‘n stuff. That said, calendaring lets me time box and prioritize the meaningful.

These inscribed markers of time transform the planned to the performed.

How

I use Google Calendar. Because it syncs seamlessly across devices and I can manage it across platforms, too. Work activities are managed by Outlook. The color scheme I currently employ has no rhyme or reason, other than my days need to be colorful.

When

All the time. I’m clocking my time.

What

As, I previously shared, I calendar my activities, appointments, meetings, events, prayers, goals and habits. You name it — it’s on my calendar to remind me of what’s next. Check out, my…

Uncommon Calendaring Behavior

Habits

First, I identify a habit to work on (e.g., read 50 pages of a book — daily). Second, I set-up a recurring entry on my calendar to pattern this practice for an established duration. Since, my habits are transitional entries, once the habit is mastered it’s no longer a tickler on my calendar.

Prayers

I use my calendar to affirm good thinking and the reciting of my prayers. I have to admit, I can’t always control all aspects of my day by calendaring. But, I can prepare my heart through prayer to be ready for anything.

Here is a prayer I am reciting for heart support:

I pray for wellness, love, peace and professional success for the project supervisor. I pray that our relationship be transformed by the renewing of my spirit, heart and mind and our collective renewing of our spirits, hearts and minds. May I continue to support the project supervisor in an exceptional way to achieve and reach higher professional heights on this project. God, please change me to be more compassionate and careful in my dealings with all people. My GOD, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Well, then ‘peeps’– peephole this.

My calendar is: 
The notes to my daily beat.
The staccato to my normal.
The rhythm to my routine.
The tenor to my time.

This story was inspired by reading Myleik’s Medium story “How To Get The Most Out Of Each Day.

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Until the next time – I adore you for reading my blog,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

Oct 18 2016
2 Comments
Beauty, Creation, Erotica, Love, Poetry

A Different Kind of Love

I am itching for you.

We’ve been together for so long. Our intimate time is penciled on my calendar.

In preparation for this weekend’s steamy session —

I go to the drugstore to look for the product with the best slip.

Slippery when wet, is what is desired, when I brush up against you.

With great contentment, the date is here.

Our session begins with a shower.

Slowly, I wash you.

You’re soft.

I massage and coat you.

You hardened.

Fingers are used for separation.

My body bends forward like a F without a dash.

The hot sensations are hitting my mind.

Feel good moans become me.

I stand up and step aside.

The build-up is rinsed away.

Outside the shower, I stare at the mirror’s reflection.

You are no longer elongated. You have shrunken.

I am pleased.

You look good on me.

I gently towel and wrap you.

Hours later.

Intertwined. Braided together.

I fall asleep.

My hair is did.

****

Until the next time – I adore you for reading my blog,

blogrochellesignature_18october2016

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